Step 1: download watch ESPN app
Step 2: complain of stomach pains, possibly bad shrimp
Step 3: sneak away from Christmas party with the in-laws to the bathroom
Step 4: sit down. Lock door. Watch game on phone using watch ESPN app. Be sure to either mute volume or reduce it substantially.
Step 5: flush. This step is very important. Wash hands. Let water run for a long time at full volume. Make sure to dry hands but leave them partially wet to the touch.
Step 6: exit bathroom. Say something about how you're feeling a little better. Not totally better but definitely not as serious as it was.
Step 7: say something later like "I wonder if OU won the game!" and check phone for score.
Step 8: live happily ever after