Do yourself a favor and go read it. Tons in there about Blake, and it's hilarious stuff. Simmons was shown by Sportscenter at the Clips vs. Bucks game standing and screaming as blake was throwing it down. Awesome stuff.
Edit: here are the relevant portions of the article
Q: How good is Blake Griffin? My wife hardly follows basketball, but she knows Griffin. She refers to him as "Crotch Face" guy because of his dunks. How excited are you!
-- Scott R, Denton, Texas
SG: Apparently you haven't seen this YouTube clip yet.
Q: Why haven't you started calling the Clippers "The Blakers?"
-- Joey, Yucaipa, Calif.
SG: Received this e-mail two weeks ago, started doing it immediately. The word "Clippers" is damaged goods, much like the phrase "From M. Night Shyamalan …" Too much has happened. "The Blakers" feels like a fresh start. It's also better than giving Blake a nickname, which he doesn't need because there's never been another famous sports Blake. Maybe the suggestions for nicknames have been fun -- Poster Child, Earthquake, Milk Shake, Blake Superior, Dunkbot 3,000, the Blake Show, the Rim Reaper, even Crotch Face Guy -- but in ClipperLand he's simply "Blake." Nobody says his last name. He's almost Brazilian that way.
But calling the Clippers "the Blakers"? That might have some legs. As long as it doesn't lead to people calling him Blake Mamba. Regardless, that's not the biggest Blake-related story in play …
It's not an official Bill Simmons column if we don't run a picture of Blake Griffin.
Q: I don't think people that realize Blake versus Kobe is setting up to be the biggest west side war since Marlo versus the Barksdales. Do you see the Blakers/Lakers parallels?? No one took Marlo (Blake) as a serious threat, but he's being noted all over Baltimore (America). If Melo, as you proposed, comes to the Clips (as Brother Mouzone) and teams up with an Omar, they could facilitate the fall of Stringer Bell Bryant and the Lakers. Problem is -- who could be that Omar? Who could be that final piece that leads to the fall of the Lakers and the rise of the Clippers? YOU EVEN HAVE A CLARENCE ROYCE AS A SLEAZY TEAM OWNER IN STERLING! The parallels don't stop. All I know is when they come at the King Kobe, they best not be missin.'
-- Tony, Chicago
SG: Fantastic e-mail. Loved it. Especially because Blake reacts to hard fouls like he wants to punch the offender in the face, then scream at the officials, "MY NAME IS MY NAME!" Part of me wonders if Donald Sterling is actually Omar -- he's on his own, nobody wants to be associated with him, nobody can get rid of him no matter how hard they try, and he robs from the rich (the other NBA owners who stupidly allowed someone to put a second team in L.A., then charge L.A. prices for tickets while putting out a cheap product and raking in all the ancillary revenue). And like Omar with Marlo, Sterling is Blake's biggest threat: He can singlehandedly derail Blake's chances to be The Man.
But let's go with Tony's premise because it was his idea: We have Kobe (Stringer), Jerry Buss (Avon), Griffin (Marlo), Baron Davis and DeAndre Jordan (Chris & Snoop), Sterling (Royce), Tim Leiweke (Carcetti), David Stern (Prop Joe) … and I'm including myself as McNulty and J.A. Adande as Bunk because it's my mailbag and I can do these things. Eric Gordon should be Brother Mouzone; it can't be Carmelo because Carmelo is headed for the Knicks. (Note: Everyone's known this since August; we just made a collective decision to pretend there were other options so talk shows had fresh daily topics and columnists and writers could have something to write about. Yes, I include myself.) You know who "Omar" is? Minnesota's unprotected 2012 No. 1 pick (owned by the Clips). You can win a title with three All-Stars; if the Clips strike gold with that pick OR trade it for an impact player, that's your Omar. And that's when Kobe gets whacked.
Just know that the Blakers could grab a chunk of Los Angeles pretty easily. Because of its mammoth size, the number of transplants and Hollywood's pervasive influence (there's a premium on star power, and you're only as good as you were last week), there's a little more bandwagon-jumping than usual. You'd never see UCLA or USC fans switch sides, or hardcore Lakers/Dodgers fans jumping to the Clippers/Angels, or any transplants from cities with rich sports histories (Chicago, Boston, New York, etc.). But everyone else is up for grabs. Especially kids.
At Monday's Bucks game, when my daughter decided she wanted a Blake jersey after Blake unleashed two hellacious dunks -- and by the way, she wanted it RIGHT AWAY -- was I really going to stand in her way? (Especially on the same day that she taunted two Lakers fans in her kindergarten class about Sunday's Celtics beatdown?) Liking the Clippers means that she doesn't like the Lakers. That's a win for me. Had she asked for a Kobe jersey, I would have left her in the parking lot.
Anyway, I was here for that first post-Shaq season when the Lakers became an afterthought; I was here for the Dodgers season when Manny was all the rage; and I'm here right now as BlakeMania is taking hold. The Clippers have never had a better chance to stage an L.A. coup d'etat. Trust me, I've been to seven of the past eight home games -- I don't think he'll ever be as good as Jordan, but I can't imagine 1985 Jordan was more exciting. Crotch Face Guy (that's kind of growing on me) has turned me into a freaking Kool-Aid drinker. I sent out e-mails to my New York friends begging them to get tickets for next week's Clippers-Knicks game. The man HAS to be seen in person. He's the biggest local threat that the Lakers have ever had. Not only is their title window slowly closing, but they have to worry about their own turf with Blake/Marlo coming after them. They better hope he doesn't find Omar.
Edit: here are the relevant portions of the article
Q: How good is Blake Griffin? My wife hardly follows basketball, but she knows Griffin. She refers to him as "Crotch Face" guy because of his dunks. How excited are you!
-- Scott R, Denton, Texas
SG: Apparently you haven't seen this YouTube clip yet.
Q: Why haven't you started calling the Clippers "The Blakers?"
-- Joey, Yucaipa, Calif.
SG: Received this e-mail two weeks ago, started doing it immediately. The word "Clippers" is damaged goods, much like the phrase "From M. Night Shyamalan …" Too much has happened. "The Blakers" feels like a fresh start. It's also better than giving Blake a nickname, which he doesn't need because there's never been another famous sports Blake. Maybe the suggestions for nicknames have been fun -- Poster Child, Earthquake, Milk Shake, Blake Superior, Dunkbot 3,000, the Blake Show, the Rim Reaper, even Crotch Face Guy -- but in ClipperLand he's simply "Blake." Nobody says his last name. He's almost Brazilian that way.
But calling the Clippers "the Blakers"? That might have some legs. As long as it doesn't lead to people calling him Blake Mamba. Regardless, that's not the biggest Blake-related story in play …
It's not an official Bill Simmons column if we don't run a picture of Blake Griffin.
Q: I don't think people that realize Blake versus Kobe is setting up to be the biggest west side war since Marlo versus the Barksdales. Do you see the Blakers/Lakers parallels?? No one took Marlo (Blake) as a serious threat, but he's being noted all over Baltimore (America). If Melo, as you proposed, comes to the Clips (as Brother Mouzone) and teams up with an Omar, they could facilitate the fall of Stringer Bell Bryant and the Lakers. Problem is -- who could be that Omar? Who could be that final piece that leads to the fall of the Lakers and the rise of the Clippers? YOU EVEN HAVE A CLARENCE ROYCE AS A SLEAZY TEAM OWNER IN STERLING! The parallels don't stop. All I know is when they come at the King Kobe, they best not be missin.'
-- Tony, Chicago
SG: Fantastic e-mail. Loved it. Especially because Blake reacts to hard fouls like he wants to punch the offender in the face, then scream at the officials, "MY NAME IS MY NAME!" Part of me wonders if Donald Sterling is actually Omar -- he's on his own, nobody wants to be associated with him, nobody can get rid of him no matter how hard they try, and he robs from the rich (the other NBA owners who stupidly allowed someone to put a second team in L.A., then charge L.A. prices for tickets while putting out a cheap product and raking in all the ancillary revenue). And like Omar with Marlo, Sterling is Blake's biggest threat: He can singlehandedly derail Blake's chances to be The Man.
But let's go with Tony's premise because it was his idea: We have Kobe (Stringer), Jerry Buss (Avon), Griffin (Marlo), Baron Davis and DeAndre Jordan (Chris & Snoop), Sterling (Royce), Tim Leiweke (Carcetti), David Stern (Prop Joe) … and I'm including myself as McNulty and J.A. Adande as Bunk because it's my mailbag and I can do these things. Eric Gordon should be Brother Mouzone; it can't be Carmelo because Carmelo is headed for the Knicks. (Note: Everyone's known this since August; we just made a collective decision to pretend there were other options so talk shows had fresh daily topics and columnists and writers could have something to write about. Yes, I include myself.) You know who "Omar" is? Minnesota's unprotected 2012 No. 1 pick (owned by the Clips). You can win a title with three All-Stars; if the Clips strike gold with that pick OR trade it for an impact player, that's your Omar. And that's when Kobe gets whacked.
Just know that the Blakers could grab a chunk of Los Angeles pretty easily. Because of its mammoth size, the number of transplants and Hollywood's pervasive influence (there's a premium on star power, and you're only as good as you were last week), there's a little more bandwagon-jumping than usual. You'd never see UCLA or USC fans switch sides, or hardcore Lakers/Dodgers fans jumping to the Clippers/Angels, or any transplants from cities with rich sports histories (Chicago, Boston, New York, etc.). But everyone else is up for grabs. Especially kids.
At Monday's Bucks game, when my daughter decided she wanted a Blake jersey after Blake unleashed two hellacious dunks -- and by the way, she wanted it RIGHT AWAY -- was I really going to stand in her way? (Especially on the same day that she taunted two Lakers fans in her kindergarten class about Sunday's Celtics beatdown?) Liking the Clippers means that she doesn't like the Lakers. That's a win for me. Had she asked for a Kobe jersey, I would have left her in the parking lot.
Anyway, I was here for that first post-Shaq season when the Lakers became an afterthought; I was here for the Dodgers season when Manny was all the rage; and I'm here right now as BlakeMania is taking hold. The Clippers have never had a better chance to stage an L.A. coup d'etat. Trust me, I've been to seven of the past eight home games -- I don't think he'll ever be as good as Jordan, but I can't imagine 1985 Jordan was more exciting. Crotch Face Guy (that's kind of growing on me) has turned me into a freaking Kool-Aid drinker. I sent out e-mails to my New York friends begging them to get tickets for next week's Clippers-Knicks game. The man HAS to be seen in person. He's the biggest local threat that the Lakers have ever had. Not only is their title window slowly closing, but they have to worry about their own turf with Blake/Marlo coming after them. They better hope he doesn't find Omar.
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