You are missing the point. I agree that chains don't make the city. But there is an order that "most" chain restaurants open in. And that fact that "most" open in Tulsa before OKC is telling. Whether anybody wants to admit that or not. Just like it's telling that most of them open in Dallas before either Tulsa/OKC. Tulsa has plenty of local, or Tulsa-only restaurants that compare just fine with anything OKC has.
Truth of the matter is, both cities are pretty darn equal in terms of what they offer, save a few things. The biggest to me is landscape, scenery, and all that jazz. I'm no tree hugger, but I like that Tulsa has hills and trees. I like that the lakes that are nearer to Tulsa are some of the best in the state. I like that it's just prettier country in the Tulsa part of the state. That is the first "big" advantage I'd give Tulsa.
Second is the people. Again, there isn't an earth-shattering difference, and this gap is certainly closing, but, and I'll try to say this in as non-offensive a way as I can, but Tulsans tend to be a more cultured people than folks that live in the City. The gap isn't this wide, but to me, and others I've discussed this with, it's a lot like Dallas vs FTW. FTW is a nice city. Solid place to raise a family. But it's a little more "farm" or "cowboy" than Dallas. OKC has a little more of that element still. Like I said, that gap is certainly closing, and probably will continue to close. But there is nothing OKC can do to even out the landscape difference I laid out above. And from most TRULY nonpartisan people that I've heard discuss that matter, the first thing they usually say is that Tulsa is simply a prettier place to live. So it does matter.
Everything else, pretty darn even. For all the money that OKC is spending, Tulsa is doing the same. Our downtown has changed 100x for the better in the recent year. We're about to get a giant family park down on the river, and that will likely spur further river development. The Creeks are about to do a major project at their casino that sits on the river, turning it into a resort, destination type hotel. Our highways has nearly all been reworked in a major way in recent years. There are TONS of projects in the works for Tulsa, just like OKC has, and has had in recent years.